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Behind My Clown Eyes

Behind my clown eyes I see no disguise, all is as it should be.  So I wonder why I feel so alone and separated from my surrounding reality.

I see the human race before me, all appearing anxious and in a hurry, all trying to keep up the pace whilst wearing expressions of fear and worry, and I wonder if they know that they are free.

I see young men leaving their wives to fight perceived enemies in foreign lands, and children playing with knives instead of building castles in the sand, and I wonder why we find it so hard to just be.

I hear sirens scream and wonder if I am in a bad dream as I feel imprisoned by the buildings all around me.  I feel like a puppet in the crowd and want to shout out loud as I realise, there is no space left for a tree.

As I perform my tricks on the street it seems most people whose eyes I meet, are in too much of a rush to make much of a fuss.  Though some children may laugh at my disguise and even believe me to be wise, I notice the growing fear in most, in those whom turn away and step around me.

As I stand in the centre of the town looking up and all around I see people reading their papers all bearing a frown.  This daily news I find to be a bizarre piece of stationary - the headlines of which just bring our spirits down like a switch, with their constant tidings of misery.

The familiar urge arises to run away - to escape back into my world of innocence and play.  As I secretly catch a tear in my white glove and dream of flying high with a freedom dove - I see a child laughing and am once again saved by the essence of love that every clown craves.

Behind my clown eyes, I see no disguise, all is as it should be.  Maybe I am imagining the pain - creating dramas again and should accept the absurdity of what I see as a ludicrous and rather tragic Mystery.

At lease one thing to me is clear as I adjust my top hat and dusk draws near.  By painting my face and donning my disguise I know I will always be able to cope.  By staying here behind my clown eyes I am able to keep my spirit alive and hold on to my faith in Peace, Love ...

and a whole lot of Hope.

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